Signs on the Path: Opening Our Hearts to Fostering
Reflecting on Our Journey to Parenthood and the Unexpected Signs That Led Us Here
Hiya, friends,
I’m writing this in two parts because I thought it would be meaningful to reflect on a big life moment both before and after it happens. As some of you know, my husband, Mark, and I have been trying to get pregnant over the past year. No news yet, but we remain hopeful and excited about what’s to come. Along this journey, we’ve begun to take fostering or adoption more seriously. It’s something we’ve always envisioned for our family, but originally we thought it would happen after we had kids of our own. That way, we’d have more experience to support any little soul who joins our home.
But the past two months have been filled with signs—undeniable nudges from the universe pushing us to jump in sooner rather than later.
It all started on a flight home after another round of “not pregnant yet” news. Exhausted from our trip, we both settled in with our headphones and started watching the same movie, Instant Family. By the end, Mark turned to me and asked, “So, what do you think?” I started laugh-crying, realizing I was thinking the exact same thing. That was the beginning of this shift.
Over the following weeks, the signs kept coming—in the books I was reading, in the shows we watched together, during church services, and in conversations with my clients. Even friends and acquaintances began sharing their foster and adoption experiences with us, without knowing it was already on our hearts. At one point, I asked God for clarity, for the signs to be so overwhelming that I couldn’t possibly ignore them. And here we are, two and a half months later, preparing for our first home visit with a foster care social worker.
Tonight, the social worker will walk us through the entire process—what it looks like, how to get started, and what steps we’ll need to take. She’ll also inspect our home to ensure everything is safe before the fire marshal conducts their own checks of doors, windows, and fire alarms. There’s definitely some nervous energy swirling around, because of course, this is a big deal. Our lives could change overnight. But there’s also a deep sense of excitement and readiness within us both.
Mark is already such an incredible mentor to so many young people, and having had a wonderful mentor in his own life, he feels called to pay that forward. As for me, with my background in supporting emotional regulation, I believe I can help a child navigate and heal from the instability they may have experienced.
A lot of our friends and family have been asking if we want a baby or if we’re open to fostering older children. The truth is, we’re trying to remain as open as possible. The more we’ve discussed it, the more we feel that adoption through fostering might be our path. And if we happen to get pregnant during this time, well, how beautiful would it be to have them grow up together?
As I write this, I’m realizing something profound—I’m writing my dad’s story. He was adopted at a young age, and not long after, my grandmother became pregnant with my aunt. I can’t believe I hadn’t connected those dots until now. It’s interesting how life patterns emerge, sometimes without us even realizing.
Part of me wonders if perhaps the reason it can be challenging for some of us to conceive is because we’re being called to this work—to love and support children who need it, as if they were our own. I know that Mark and I have the heart for it. And knowing this was part of my father’s story too makes me feel even more connected to the idea of growing our family in this way.
Of course, we know this can be a long journey. My hope is that it unfolds as smoothly as possible and that I can stay grounded and fully surrendered to the process, trusting in whatever path lies ahead for us.
Well, here we go—our social worker will be arriving shortly. I’ll be back tomorrow to share the full experience!
Until then…
Okay y’all, yesterday’s appointment was a lot. I’m not even going to lie. The meeting lasted over three hours, and the sheer amount of paperwork, classes, and steps we need to take was overwhelming. It felt like we were suddenly standing at the base of a mountain, looking up at all that is required to foster. But with all of that, we got to ask a lot of questions and get clarity on what we’re really stepping into. It breaks my heart to know how many kids are in the system, each one with such heavy adversity stacked against them.
By the end of the meeting, Mark was feeling really good about it, excited for what’s next. For me, though, I had this sinking feeling in my chest, realizing even more just how drastically our lives could change overnight. It’s a lot to take in. A lot of these children come from such unimaginable situations—abusive homes, addicted parents, some have had to detox as newborns. They’ve seen too much, experienced too much, for their little souls to bear. It’s impossible not to feel the weight of that. And as much as we want to provide a loving, stable environment, it’s also clear how little control we have over who this child will be or what they’ve already endured.
Reflecting on this experience makes me realize how much my own childhood was filled with adversity—growing up in an abusive home, facing many forms of abuse, lacking the right education, and always feeling lost and unsafe, like I didn’t quite fit into the rest of the world. It wasn’t until I moved as a young teenager that I saw a completely different way of living. That move drastically changed my life.
Looking back, I can’t believe how just a few years, from 13 to 18, could have completely shifted everything for me. Those formative years showed me how impactful a stable environment can be. How could we not offer that to a child who needs it? I know from personal experience what even a little bit of love and stability can do, and I feel a deep sense of responsibility and purpose in being able to offer that to someone else.
This morning, I woke up just feeling heavy. Angry, if I’m honest. I sat with the frustration of how unfair it feels. How is it that so many people who seem so unprepared, so reckless, can have children so easily, while others, who pour their hearts and souls into creating a loving home, are left waiting? It just doesn’t make sense. I’ve spent so much of my life healing, working on myself, building a stable, peaceful sanctuary. I honor my body, my health. I’ve fought demons, worked hard to create this life, and yet here I am. Still waiting. Still asking why.
But maybe that’s the reason. Maybe there’s a bigger plan at work here. I think about all the things we don’t know—the paths we can’t yet see—and it’s like I’m grasping for answers, trying to make sense of something that feels senseless. As happy as I am for what’s to come, I’m also angry. And that’s the truth. I think it’s okay to sit with those feelings, even if they’re hard to hold.
There’s a tension between what we want and what we feel ready for. On one hand, we’ve built this life that feels so perfect for a child, a place of love and peace. But on the other hand, are we ready to disrupt that? Are we ready to welcome in something so unknown while still trying for a child of our own? These are the questions swirling in my heart. This is the honest, raw truth of where I am right now.
And yet, despite the heaviness and the fear, Mark and I both feel that we’re being called to do this. We feel we could offer stability to a child who desperately needs it, and how could we turn our backs now? We’ve come this far, and it wouldn’t feel right to walk away. I just pray for the strength to move forward with patience, to stay grounded, and to keep my heart open as we walk this road.
If any of you are walking a similar path—whether it’s fostering, adoption, or your own journey to parenthood—know that my heart is with you. This isn’t easy. It’s messy, it’s hard, and it’s full of emotions that don’t always make sense. But I’m holding onto the belief that faith is bigger than fear. The more we lean into that faith, the closer we get to the light.
Sending you all peace and love on your journeys,
Chelsea
For more resources on healing your inner child, cultivating self-love, reprogramming money beliefs, building routines for life and business, and accessing bi-weekly live meditations, visit my website at tamedfree.com.
Meditation:
Journal Prompts: Reflect on a time in your life when you felt uncertain or out of control. How did you navigate those feelings?
What helped you find peace, even when the path ahead was unclear?
As you move through this current season of life, what can you release to create more space for trust and faith?